Resilience is a Choice: How to Rise After Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
Let’s be honest—life doesn’t always go the way we expect.
We make plans, we set goals, we imagine the way things should be… and then something happens that changes everything. Maybe it’s a job loss, a health challenge, the loss of someone we love, or a moment that completely shifts our world.
I know this feeling all too well.
When I was nine years old, I never imagined that a simple backyard gathering would change my life forever. I never imagined I would wake up in a hospital with burns covering most of my body, that I would spend years undergoing surgeries, or that I would have to navigate a world where I looked different from everyone else.
I couldn’t control what happened to me.
But what I could control was how I responded.
And that’s what resilience is all about.
What Resilience Really Means
A lot of people think resilience means being strong all the time. That it means pushing through without feeling anything. That it’s about having all the answers, never struggling, never breaking down.
But that’s not what resilience is.
- Resilience is not about avoiding pain—it’s about learning how to move forward despite it.
- Resilience is not about pretending to be okay—it’s about allowing yourself to feel and choosing to rise anyway.
- Resilience is not something you’re born with—it’s something you build, one choice at a time.
When life throws something unexpected your way, you have three options:
✅ You can give up and let it define you.
✅ You can act up and resist it, refusing to accept what is.
✅ Or, you can step up and find a way to move forward.
I chose to step up.
And every single day, you have that same choice.
How I Learned to Choose Resilience
There was a moment in my recovery when I realized no one was coming to “fix” things for me.
Yes, I had incredible doctors and nurses. Yes, I had loving parents who did everything they could. But at the end of the day, it was up to me to decide what my life would look like.
I could spend my life hiding, letting my scars hold me back. Or I could own my story and embrace the life I still had ahead of me.
Was it easy? Absolutely not. There were hard days. There still are. But resilience is built in the moments when you decide to keep going, even when you don’t feel ready.
That’s what I want for you, too.
Because no matter what you’re facing, no matter how many times life has knocked you down, you are stronger than you think.
How to Build Resilience When Life Gets Hard
I won’t tell you to “just be positive” or “think happy thoughts.” That’s not how resilience works. It’s not about ignoring your struggles—it’s about learning how to navigate them in a way that helps you grow.
If you’re going through something tough right now, here are a few things that might help:
Let Yourself Feel What You Need to Feel
Resilience doesn’t mean pushing down emotions. It means giving yourself permission to process them. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away. It’s okay to grieve, to be frustrated, to feel lost. That doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.
Focus on What You Can Control
There are always going to be things outside of our control. But there are also things we can choose. You can choose how you respond. You can choose to take small steps forward. You can choose how you talk to yourself. Start there.
Take Things One Step at a Time
When life feels overwhelming, don’t focus on the entire journey—just focus on the next step. Small progress is still progress. Some days, that might mean getting out of bed. Some days, it might mean reaching out for help. Every step counts.
Surround Yourself with People Who Lift You Up
Resilience isn’t about doing everything alone. We heal in connection with others. Find the people who support you, who remind you of your strength, and who hold space for you when you need it. And if you don’t have those people yet—start looking. You deserve that kind of support.
Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself
The way you talk to yourself matters. Instead of saying, This is the worst thing that could have happened to me, try asking, What can I learn from this? How can I grow from this?
It’s not about pretending things aren’t hard—it’s about choosing to find meaning in the mess.
Final Thoughts: You Are Stronger Than You Think
If life isn’t going as planned right now, I want you to know that you are not alone.
I also want you to know that this moment does not define you.
What defines you is what you do next.
You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be fearless. You don’t have to be perfect.
All you have to do is choose—one step, one moment, one decision at a time.
Because resilience isn’t something you either have or don’t have.
It’s something you build, every time you choose to keep going.
